Things got better.
I helped make things better.
If I am going to be there, and I do want to, then I have to try and make it better. That's what I do will do.
Still a lot of variables here. Some of which I don't even know of. But I think I am beginning to get the picture. Someone said to me on this run that I "should just do what I have to do to make it right." "Either that or go home" I replied. Another project. With smaller sub-projects, tasks and shit that needs to get done.
On occasion I forget that I enjoy what I do. I take pride and get satisfaction from it. When it works out how I want it to. When the consequences are not as I intended my feelings about it all change.