I can not remember ever being this miserable and unhappy while out.
The last time I felt this way about a job, not a touring one, I quit. It simply wasn't worth it any longer. I need to get some personal satisfaction from my work. Without that it is pointless to endure the hardships of this job. Why live out of a suitcase and deal with all the crap that comes with being a nomad when I could just get a job that allows me to go home at the end of the day and forget. A job that has true defined hours. Not a job that takes over my life. Granted that job will probably have its drawbacks, they all do. But in the end if I can go home and sit and watch TV on my couch with my honey bee then I don't really see a problem. I might get bored of being home. I might not. Maybe it is worth pursuing at this point being as how this just makes me miserable and borders on driving me insane. Walking around, and trying to work, while bordering on a breakdown is no fun. Especially while in a foreign country, which only complicates the matter. This whole run all I have thought about is exit strategy. Whatever city I am I think of how can I get home, or at least escape to friendly ground. Who do I know here that can put me up for a bit while I sort things out and find a way back home. Sometimes it is as simple as getting in a cab and going. Other times it involves large sums of money and airline tickets. But it can always be done if need be. I feel like I am being pressed to come up with some real answers here. To hell with whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. I feel like I am dieing out here. Who cares if I die strong. Around 5 years ago I said that in 5 years time I would take a step back and look at where I am at in terms of career and all that comes and goes with it. I am at that point, or close to it, now and I have to make my mind up. What next.